Rough Times
by Looking Into Oblivion
Summary: What can Arkham's patients expect to be heard coming from their beloved Doctor Joan Leland?
1. Suprising News

"Do it." said a hushed voice in the crevices of Bruce Wayne's mind, coaxing and almost fooling him into thinking of doing it.

_'No' _said the gruff voice of Batman, although he was in his cowl considering throwing his old friend Harvey Dent off a roof.

"Fine" said the voice deciding to cease coaxing the hero to kill for the first time.

'_Now, I'm taking you back to Arkham to fulfill your treatment. UNDERSTOOD?" _Batman continued.

"Okay" said Harvey grateful for his life and_ almost_ scared.

When Harvey got to Arkham he was greeted by the shrill voice of none other than the Joker.

"Hey Harv, back so soon?" was complimented with a cackle for the Joker knew that it was no question that he had been out for only a week before getting caught.

"Why I oughta…" was Harvey's response as he pulled at the guards arms.

"There's no escaping the white coats." quickly responded none other than the Riddler.

"Oh so _that's_ what we're calling them now…" replied Jonathan Crane with an indifferent expression.

"A community conversation? How rare, by the way, nice to see you again Harv." Poison Ivy said peeking out of her biochemistry book.

"Shut up." replied Harvey.

"I merely said 'Hello' to you and I was expecting a 'hi' or mutter of distain but I guess not." Pamela Isley retorted.

"Well hello Harvey, nice to see someone not completely obsessive compulsive." said Oswald Cobblepot.

"_Hey Wizard of Ozwald, can you make yourself disappear?_" the Scarecrow hissed.

"I say." Oswald said taken aback by the rude comment of Jonathan Crane's alternate persona.

"Seems it's 'that time of the month' for Jonny-Boy here." Joker said with a giggle.

"_Fuck you. And shut up before I claw that stupid grin off your face."_ the Scarecrow hissed in an unpleasing voice.

"Oh Jonny, I'm hurt and I recall your friend Jervis has a BIG, stupid grin."

"If I weren't an Englishman I'd say 'sod off'." Jervis said.

"C'mon, tell im' Mistah J!" came that sharp chirpy voice of Harley's.

"CAN WE ALL JUST SHUT UP?!" came the simultaneous booming voices of Killer Croc and Bane.

"No-oh" came the sing-song voice of the Joker.

A growl and slam let the Joker know that Bane and Croc were not pleased by his answer at all.

"Now, now children, can't we all just get along?" came the reassuring yet mocking voice of none other than Joan Leland.

"Well, I'll be a purple hippopotamus with eighteen bumpy tumors!" rang the Joker's sharp and oh-so clear voice.

"Very charming." said Jonathan Crane back from letting the Scarecrow take over his vessel.

"Quite." mused the melancholy voice of Victor Zsasz.

"Well don't sound so joyous" sounded Ragdoll's slightly Italian accented voice harshly attacking the brutal murderer.

"HEY! That's MY line!" cried the very feminine voice of Jonathan Crane defending his sarcastic ways.

"Boo-hoo. Somebody call whine-1-1 and have them send over a wh-ambulance." retorted Killer Croc from his not-so-amused silence.

"Oh, please, oh Doctor Me! I'm feeling faint! I think I have I-don't-give-a-fuck-itis! It happens when people around you tell old, not amusing jokes that you don't care about!" countered the Scarecrow with a smug look after the words had loquaciously dripped off of Jonathan's tongue.

"ANYWAYS!" shouted Dr. Leland, "I have an announcement. We will have to be partnering cells, we have… run out of room and we have patients coming in by the handful."

All the Rouges looked at each other and started laughing.

"What?" whispered Michael, a long time guard who in his five years of working at Elizabeth Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane had never heard the Rouges all laugh at something together.

"Oh, you thought you could fool us Doctor Leland?" said in a rather snide tone, none other than the Riddler.

"No. I was serious." replied Joan in an annoyed voice.

"Shit." said Harvey as the Rouges all realized that they would have to put up with another one of themselves.

"So, Crane and Nigma are partners, Tetch and Ragdoll are partners, Jones and Bane are partners…" recited Leland.

And without skipping a beat Crane muttered "There goes the neighborhood…"


	2. Cell Mates: Nigma and Crane

Edward Nigma flopped off of his bed and into Jonathan Crane's personal space.

"So, what are you contemplating oh 'god of fear'?"

"Don't mock me mortal, it would be a shame if you ended up a seriously disfigured riddler..."

"Okay, calm down... I'm hungry."

"We just had lunch."

"Yeah, but I can't seriously ingest that stuff, do you expect me to?"

"Maybe if I'm lucky you'll get food poisoning and die."

"Rude."

"I never insinuated that I was nice."

"But you're my best friend."

"Well you're not Scarecrow's and I _respect_ him."

"Well, you're no fun."

"Once again, I never insinuated I was."

"Jerk."

"Pest."

"Illiterate."

"Tacky."

"TOO FAR!"

"Says who?"

A gaurd walks by and surveys the scene with utmost curiosity.

"What the hell? Grow up you two."

"HE initiated the fighting!" hollered Nigma pointing at Jonathan.

"You may have one finger pointing at me, but you have three pointing at yourself." interjected Joanthan.

"Shut up!"

"NEVER! You shut up."

"Make me."

"I don't make monkeys I train them."

"There must be something in the water." sighed the gaurd as he gave up on the juvinile-acting men.


	3. Cell Mates: Tetch and Ragdoll

Disclaimer: I own nothing at all Jervis Tetch and Ragdoll are property of DC and Bob Cane, and this show belongs to the Warner Brothers and DC.

Jervis Tetch sat on his top bunk of the cell reading "Alice in Wonderland" pondering peculiarly on the topic of when _his_ Alice would come.

"So, engrossed in fantasy once again I see." came the slightly accented voice of Ragdoll interrupting Jervis's train of thought.

"Not fantasy, no not fantasy."

"Then what is it?"

"The real world... I thought you knew that Rags."

"Nope, in the real world, we're enclosed in three grey walls with one plexiglass-with-a-layer-of-kevlar wall."

"Now **that** has got to be some serious delusions. You should talk to Doctor Leland about those."

"And you yours Tetch. And you yours."

"I AM **NOT** DELUSIONAL!" cried Tetch with a noise ringing and resonating throughout the Rouges hall.

"Calm down..."

"Okay..."

"Where is Wonderland?"

"What?"

"Where. Is. Wonderland?"

"Well, Wonderland can be in a multitude of places, _that depends directly on the direction you wish to be directed in, choose one direction and directly follow the direction you chose and you shall be directed directly in the direction you wish to go in._"

"Well I want to see if Wonderland is real."

"Well I told you, _choose one dirtectoin- _in your case any- _and directly follow the direction you choose- _any direction- _and you shall be directed directly in the direction you wish to go in,_ in your case Wonderland."

"But how will I know when I get there?"

"You will see float/falling objects and peacefully land on tiled floor, follow it, get the key and the pishsalver, go through the door and there you are!"

"Um, okay, goodnight."

"Of course, you have to be sleeping, and then you see the-"

And throughout the night all the Rouges heard endless directions throughout Wonderland.


	4. Cell Mates: Jones and Bane

Discalimer: Waylon Jones and Bane are NOT my property and shall remain so for all eternity.

Waylon Jones and Bane almost **never** got along.

"So, why do YOU think that _brujah_ locked us up together?"

"Because she IS a which, might I offer?"

"Well, yeah. I guess she is." offered Bane with a slight chuckle at the end of his sentence.

"You don't say?"

"MAYBE. If we could talk to Doctor Crane-"

"He's now a patient here, you want to talk with him, see him in the Recreation Room." snapped the gruff voice of the guard put in charge of watching the two.

"Instead of Leland, maybe we could..." asked Croc after so rudely being interrupted.

"Plot escape?" asked the guard.

"NO, watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic with him." said Bane with a drip of sarcasm in his voice.

"Even when he was Director, I KNEW he was a queer..." grumbled the guard.

"Rumor has it he's got the hots for Jack."

"No way!" the guard exclaimed.

"Muahhhhhaaaahahahahaha!" laughed Bane in a fake-evil tone.

"LIGHTS OUT!" barked Head of Security Mastin.

"Nighty-night" came the mocking voice of all the gaurds.


	5. A Dark Knight in Gotham

**DISCLAIMER: I own nobody except for Michael! Everything goes to Bob Kane, DC Comics, and the Warner Brothers!**

_Click clack click clack _went Joan Leland's pumps as she made her way to the middle of the Rouge's hall.

"WILL SOMEBODY STOP THAT INCESSANT NOISE THAT IS CURRENTLY ASSAULTING MY EARDRUMS?!" yelled Jonathan Crane from his prime centre cell.

"No. I have an announcement to make." quietly stated Joan.

"Well make it quick, bitch!" boomed Jones due to having his dinner delayed for the announcement.

"We will be switching cells again due to the multiple... skirmishes between you all."

"AGAIN!?" was the most popular response along with, "You have to be fucking kidding me!" and "I will cut you", the last only being said by the Joker.

"Sweet heavens!" jumped Nigma for joy, "I'm sick of being roommates with this antisocial, insomniac, emotionally retarded worthless waste of a soul!"

"Excuse me? I should kill you now! I'm sick of being roommates with this disrespectful, narcissistic, annoying, riddling queer!" Jonathan yelled over Nigma.

"And **I **out of the blue suddenly like Mr. Bend-Till-Jervis-Has-No-Personal-Space?!" shouted Jervis as everyone started putting in their own two cents.

"Well, I don't think that sharing a cell with a delusional schizophrenic who's obsessed with a woman that doesn't even LIKE him is my idea of a walk in the park?" screeched Ragdoll.

"Well, I don't like this giant brute always taking the top bunk!" yelled Croc.

"Well, I prefer the top sometimes. And plus you could get up easier!" retorted Bane like nobody's business.

"And Selena's always bitching about me talking to my precious babies!" yelled Pam.

"You don't like MY cats! And plus at least my babies are ALIVE!" Selena shouted back.

"ALRIGHT! ENOUGH OF THIS PANDEMONIUM!" shouted Leland over all of the Rouges, "Quiet Pointdexter, now sit down, shut up, and listen!"

Leland quieted the criminals and started speaking.

"Now, here is the new arrangement. Elliot, you're with Crane _good luck_. Langstrom, you're with Tetch. Joker, you're with Dent..." thus she carried on into the night.

And outside a certain Batman was watching, waiting...


	6. Cell Mates: Elliot and Crane

**Disclaimer: Jonathan Crane/ the Scarecrow and Hush/ Thomas Elliot belong to DC Comics and Bob Kane. Batman: the Animated Series and all the characters belong to the Warner Brothers, DC, and Bob Kane.**

It was bedtime at Arkham and Jonathan was tired as fuck and it would take every layer of hell to get him to stay up. Hush, however was a different story.

"I'm so energetic today!" Thomas yelled.

"ARE YOU ASKING TO GET US BOTH SEDATED?" Jonathan whisper-yell-chastised Thomas.

"Nope, why don't you go to sleep and I yell?"

"How about this?" Jonathan cooed so he could get some sleep that night."Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Scarecrow's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Scarecrow's going to buy you a diamond ring. If that diamond ring turns brass, Scarecrow's going to buy you a looking glass..."

And with a kiss on the lips Thomas went to bed after his little song.

"Urgh, now how am I supposed to get to bed?"

And with a groan Jonathan passed out on the cot of which he slept on.

Some guards gave strange looks but the females all just said "Awww" and let them sleep.

Jonathan abruptly awoke at six the next morning. He looked up to notice that Hush was already up and looking at him from the other side of the room.

"Hi, Thomas."

"Good Morning Jonathan."

"Do you want talk... about last night?"

"No."

"THOMAS, WE CAN'T JUST PRETEND THAT WE DIDN'T KISS AND MOVE ON! HELL, I'M STARTING TO-" Jonathan cut himself off when he notice that the rest of the Rouges Hall was staring, "I'm starting to develop feelings for you..." Jonathan quietly said and looked at the floor, dejected.

"WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?! GO BACK TO YOUR BUSINESS!" Hush yelled to stall, because he didn't know what to say to Jonathan. And then he got it, it would be cold and heartless but it had a chance of preserving his dignity, "And I don't love you, Jonathan Crane, never have, never will!"

Jonathan was taken aback, apalled that anybody could ever have such a cold heart to yell that to every person in the Asylum that could hear.

"Okay, just one thing. I hate you. Now give me your jacket."

"What for?"

"I did something to it."

"What?" Hush asked as he handed Jonathan the jacket.

Jonathan ripped something off of the sleeve and threw the jacket back at him.

"See you in hell." Jonathan said as he stabbed himself with the needle he held in his hand and injected the deadly toxin straight into his arm.

**That's it for today so far, and this oficially WILL branch off into another FanFiction, so keep your eyes peeled. WHAT'LL HAPPEN TO JONNY? WILL HE LIVE? WILL HE DIE? WILL THOMAS LOVE HIM? Find out next time on "The Guillotine" a side fic.**


	7. Cell Mates: Langstrom and Tetch

**DISCLAIMER: CREW IT, I OWN NOTHING. NO MORE LONG DISCLAIMER FOR YOU.**

****A certain cell was very quiet for the Rogues Hall, which - as always - needed investigation. This certain cell belonged to Dr. Kirk Langstrom and Jervis Tetch.

But only on this rare day, did they speak.

"Do you know what time it is?" asked a strangely inquisitive Kirk.

"No, I'm afraid my pocket watch has been confiscated, and Doctor Crane is in solitary." replied Jervis.

"Well, thank you for your response."

"_Will you, won't you, will you won't you join the dance?_" said Jervis as he got up from his bunk and started doing a strange dance.

"What?" asked Kirk, still on the subject of the time.

"Nothing, **wouldn't couldn't, wouldn't couldn't couldn't join the dance**."

"Uh... Okay then."


End file.
